tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46661294610439300152012-01-01T20:28:53.048-05:00by Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssen <br> edited by Erik Halvorssen <br><br><br> <b> Tips and ideas on parenting picked up <br> along the journey of raising five great kids</b>Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.comBlogger371100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-37010922822021790542012-01-01T20:18:00.002-05:002012-01-01T20:28:30.863-05:00

St. Josemaría puts it best when he says that in every new year "...let us take a good honest look at our own lives. How is it that sometimes we just can’t find those few minutes it would take to finish lovingly the work we have to do, which is the very means of our sanctification? Why do we neglect our family duties? Why that tendency to rush through our prayers, or through the Holy Sacrifice of

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-69148455762022005092011-12-26T11:04:00.002-05:002012-01-01T20:28:53.052-05:00

Adoration of The Magi carved on the tomb of St. Agnes in Rome

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-59177755724009612782011-12-18T11:13:00.001-05:002011-12-18T11:16:07.014-05:00

Be careful what you say to your children in anger... 

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-55932101401029433382011-11-10T16:44:00.001-05:002011-11-10T17:17:56.429-05:00

This seems to be an effective way to help you and your child get past the terrible temper tantrums. It comes from a very interesting article by Shirley Wang, recently published  in The Wall Street Journal. Let us know if it worked for your child! Click on the image to enlarge and read.

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-41210730647854092172011-10-29T18:00:00.001-04:002011-10-29T18:07:47.276-04:00

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Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-32213642850177453172011-09-13T23:32:00.002-04:002011-09-17T02:54:37.168-04:00

It is true that someone made me suffer or that they hurt me or my feelings, and it is true that I am patient and flexible, but do I truly forgive and forget??? Our culture teaches us revenge, indifference or avoidance, not forgiveness; you see it in movies, TV, everywhere, but is not right to live in a payback mode, it makes no sense and it is exhausting.  When you forgive, you are not

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-39850997883853777962011-09-06T23:15:00.001-04:002011-09-07T16:51:35.596-04:00

A person’s dignity depends upon living in a manner that will achieve the purpose for which he was created, to be sons and daughters of God. “Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-2635012950973620542011-08-16T20:56:00.000-04:002011-08-16T20:56:36.169-04:00

World crisis, financial crisis, heightened violence, health issues-  you look around and see all these problems and you are the head of the family. Scary, right? I was reading an excellent book on sales in difficult times: "If You're Not First, You're Last" by Grant Cardone, where he writes about getting immobilized by bad news, when things are not going well: a family member hospitalized,

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-85637672584628827262011-07-31T19:53:00.001-04:002011-07-31T19:53:39.228-04:00

We read this today on our church bulletin and we want our children to read it, often! All Is Possible With Love Intelligence without love is malevolent. Justice without love makes you relentless. Diplomacy without love makes you a hypocrite. Success without love makes you arrogant. Wealth without love makes you greedy. Docility without love makes you servile. Poverty without love makes you

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-7639671448658770952011-07-09T12:06:00.005-04:002011-07-09T16:56:12.484-04:00

We don't realize the powerful influence we have over our children. They are excellent imitators of everything they see us do; the good and the bad.  This amazing Australian made video says it all - without saying a word. Share this post with your friends and make your influence positive!

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-87137834188008957952011-06-20T18:12:00.010-04:002011-07-09T14:58:12.666-04:00

The official start of summer is tomorrow, so I was writing a "Summer Plans" related article for our blog, but halfway through it, I remembered we posted on the subject last year! Reading it again, the most important paragraph for me is still the last one in the post: "There is no particular science to this. Overall, try not to micro-manage every waking moment and give them free time to play on

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-86234242871979256302011-04-22T20:35:00.003-04:002011-07-09T14:58:59.314-04:00

We see our teenagers taller, stronger, more independent, forming their own point of view about things. They are helping around more, learning how to drive - they still have a long way to go... They still need limits, supervision, they still need to obey us, they need our advise and our approval, they need to see that we respect their ideas and their well being. They require our example, to see

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-13637049737394360412011-03-20T18:42:00.006-04:002011-07-09T14:59:21.263-04:00

Spring break is one of those holidays in which - "traditionally" - teenagers engage in binge drinking, drug abuse and more. Imagine the freedom they feel: turning 16 with no "responsibilities", having everything: cell phones, enough money, even a car. They can "do whatever they want".  They go on group trips and parties.  The first drinks generally break the ice and, since they are very well

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-8275794320741183922011-03-01T10:58:00.004-05:002011-07-09T15:26:09.255-04:00

I recently read the article "The Business of Happiness" by Nancy Cook in the excellent Fast Company magazine.The article explains how the anticipation of a pleasurable experience feels as good as finishing an onerous task (like a marathon or an exam). They discovered that a meaningful experience such as volunteering often makes people happier than moments of pure pleasure. Unknowingly, it seems

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-29143085541121017762010-12-18T20:57:00.001-05:002011-07-09T15:00:20.051-04:00

Thinking about Christmas gifts, we ran out of ideas for one of our children.  They have what they need, but they deserve a lot more; they are great, hard working, fun, normal children. Then I started wondering what was my best Christmas gift when I was a child and I remembered my wonderful snow cone machine. I know my mom and dad worked hard to buy the best possible toys, or watches, the best

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-16166978426163477772010-11-12T16:15:00.004-05:002011-07-09T15:00:57.241-04:00

Some of us never had any contact with illegal drugs when we were teenagers. Unfortunately, this is not the case for our kids today.  I went to a talk on drugs a week ago and reality hit me: children as young as 11 years old can encounter a situation related to drugs up to 2 times a day, every day, depending on the city where they live. It has become more and more "normal" to talk about who went

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-22346014562391513922010-10-03T21:03:00.006-04:002011-07-09T15:01:37.271-04:00

Even though I have a business degree, my husband studied economics and both of us have worked in the banking industry, I have to say that it is REALLY hard to teach money management to your own children. You walk through the house and see dollar bills and coins on their desks, in the bathroom drawer, on the kitchen table; they have no clue how hard it is to earn a dollar.  When our seven year

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-68074636196025743622010-08-17T21:04:00.004-04:002011-07-09T15:03:02.952-04:00

Can money buy happiness? Money gives you satisfaction, maybe accomplishment, but you can have a lot of money and not have a decent life. You might have a lot of money and live a meaningless life. Father Frank says that we should live detached from material things and develop our capability of enjoyment of what we have, while feeling happy about what other people have. You shouldn't feel sad for

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-54354142888352164752010-06-26T00:42:00.004-04:002011-07-09T15:05:46.445-04:00

To see the good in people requires practice and is taught by example. During a morning retreat I attended last week, the priest said "...sometimes you don't see any virtues in your husband, (your wife) or your children. What has probably happened is that the virtues you once saw have become "invisible" with time; you became used to them. It is also a common occurrence that what you perceive

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-19912907245437379262010-06-07T20:56:00.006-04:002011-07-09T15:07:34.845-04:00

There are 12 weeks of summer vacation. Our children's ages range from 15 years old to 4 years old. Both of us are working parents and with no nanny at the moment, this could be a challenge... This is how we will try to plan this summer - in no particular order after week 2: Week 1: Re-learning to live all together in the same house without school. Sharing the TV, the favorite spot on the couch

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-10129973967064451142010-05-06T22:04:00.011-04:002011-07-09T15:09:30.349-04:00

I have to admit that I am panicking with the idea that my fifteen year old daughter is about to be at that age where she can take the wheel and drive on her own... I know we did learn at the same age, but I remember myself being more focused on the actual driving... I feel like my daughter is more focused on the mirror (looking how good she looks driving!), trying to find the right radio station,

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-31753023080372997222010-03-14T14:04:00.018-04:002011-07-09T15:11:21.222-04:00

12 years old and we are talking about boyfriends or girlfriends? How innocent and fun it can be if it is addressed correctly. We are talking probably around 6th or 7th grade. Yes, it can be somebody from school, a neighbor, his or her best friend's brother or sister, hopefully somebody you know. And I wonder, how can I prepare my children to manage this relationship correctly? We are not talking

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-25154281407716752862009-04-17T21:59:00.007-04:002011-07-09T15:12:02.773-04:00

We have become parents of teenagers. A new and daunting stage in our marriage is upon us. We have found out very quickly that it is very important to set limits, but also at this age we have to be able to explain to them clearly why it is important to have a curfew and house rules. A teenager will no longer accept the always useful, up to now: "because I say so, period". I remember how it was

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-68113210024353651222009-03-22T14:29:00.006-04:002011-07-09T15:12:55.310-04:00

How can we prevent our kids from being exposed to drugs and alcohol? We see them everywhere. Kids today don't even have to go far away into a dark dangerous neighborhood to find them. Today, they can be doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons, in our own home, in our own community center or around the pizza shop in the corner. There are all kinds of easy ways for our children to find them:

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-62603269227486737502009-02-07T18:43:00.008-05:002011-07-09T15:13:52.932-04:00

I have being doing some research on how can we raise our children to be responsible, proactive, positive leaders in our communities. We should focus on teaching them key competences such as: - Communication skills, how can they express themselves so their message reaches out to the people they want to communicate with. - Conflict resolution, so they can see problems with the right perspective

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-8403110378090322822009-01-14T22:47:00.012-05:002011-09-12T09:09:12.810-04:00

Wow! I just came back from an awesome talk during my monthly retreat at my parish. This great person came and talked to us about being sincere and truthful. She explained how the word "sincere" had its roots on several theories that have been advanced to explain the derivation of the word, but none has been substantiated! The most common explanation assigns the genesis of the word to the Latin

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-74623314190448625072008-02-17T20:17:00.010-05:002011-07-09T15:15:16.090-04:00

I was just reading Dr. Dan Kindlon and Dr. Michael Thompson's excellent book "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys". When they talk about emotional literacy, they say that "learning involves recognizing the look and feeling of our emotions, then using this skill to better understand ourselves and others. We learn to appreciate life's emotional complexity and this enhances all our

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-71596803240810373102008-02-08T21:31:00.004-05:002011-07-09T14:57:03.862-04:00

Our first daughter is a girl, then comes a boy, then a girl and then two younger boys. For me it is kind of natural to raise a girl: the gossiping, the clothes, the phone calls, boys... I went through all that and learned a lot from my experience. But what about boys, how much do we know about them? We love them, but do we understand how they think? How can we know what they are feeling?

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-79150417241905826172007-04-06T10:27:00.002-04:002011-07-09T15:15:57.204-04:00

Play-days are the perfect learning experience: it is a time to have fun, share, follow rules, develop creativity, solve problems and learn leadership. As moms, we have to plan play-days carefully. Lets say that I invite a couple of 3 year old playmates over; I will typically do the following: 1) The day before the play-day: - We agree on a schedule for the things that will happen during the

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-197827112937621052007-02-24T15:53:00.002-05:002011-07-09T15:18:04.698-04:00

We are very lucky to have two families instead of only one. It is not easy, after being part of one family your whole life, to adapt to a whole new family when you get married. Our family, the one that God gave us, where we have been born, is the perfect one for us. The second one, the in-laws, comes as a present with your beloved husband or wife. This second one is definitely chosen by us.

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-10814410893024228142007-01-10T18:16:00.002-05:002011-07-09T15:18:50.108-04:00

There are several authors like Fernando Corominas in Spain, that claim that when we are children, there are different ages when we will absorb different skills easier than others; these are called "sensitive periods" for learning. For example: It is much easier for a 1 to 4 year old toddler to learn a new language, than for a 30 year old adult. It does not mean the older person cannot do it,

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-17681139230517774892006-12-29T00:19:00.001-05:002011-07-09T15:20:32.492-04:00

With only two more days left in the year, we start to think about the things we did, the things we didn't do, the projects we accomplished and all the things we want to do next year. Every year we guide our kids through a little exercise that my father taught me: we sit down in the living room, put on good music, have a warm drink like hot chocolate and a bring a notebook so we can start writing

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-15334096325022548772006-12-17T22:52:00.003-05:002011-07-09T15:21:20.354-04:00

When I was pregnant, I often thought about the great responsibility that God places on us as parents when he allows us to have children; we have to guide them through life and help them get to heaven. It is a huge responsibility, so my husband and I set forth, early, what our goal was: We must make our children realize that their goal in this life must be to reach heaven. We must always keep

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-56253407904450874982006-12-08T13:12:00.001-05:002011-07-09T15:22:06.784-04:00

After order, obedience is, in my opinion, the most important virtue to teach my kids. As a parent, I try to teach this virtue since they are 6 months old, hoping to make a few important values their own. I have to remind myself constantly that they have to obey me because it will make them better, not to be more comfortable or because I am lazy at that moment - they will notice the difference.

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-27537514059408861712006-11-26T21:54:00.001-05:002011-07-09T15:22:41.757-04:00

As parents of five adorable children, we have to set the rules of living together. We try to set these rules on a daily basis, in small doses, not in lectures. Here are our top ten, in no particular order: You are unique "Each one of you are unique and unrepeatable, there is no one else like you and there will never be another one like you. So you are not allowed to compare yourselves with each

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-33224459824499101842006-11-24T22:28:00.001-05:002011-07-09T15:23:24.015-04:00

I regularly ask my children: "Why is it that you want to be like everybody else? Why should you do what other people tell you to do? Do you feel the pressure to do something that you really don’t want to do?" I tell them: "This is called peer pressure; you will feel it all the time, but it does not mean that you should bend to it. My girls, you have to be different for the good things, the

Alejandra Peraza de Halvorssenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02047957041698913753noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4666129461043930015.post-35543500515435436462006-11-24T19:36:00.002-05:002011-07-09T15:25:00.120-04:00

When I was young, in school, I remember feeling lonely, rejected by my “friends”as they secretly planned a party and didn't invite me or when the teased me or criticized me behind my back. Now, as a mom, I regularly talk to my children about the importance of caring about others. I tell them to look around and be aware of any friend that might be eating by him or herself during lunch, or being

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